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Smash It

Jason's Downfall

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Hello Anons, this is my story.

 

I knew I was smart when I was young, some would even say TOO smart. A life of RP was the life for me. The cat's ,and I, would ravage amongst the computer parts in the slum. See, I grew up in Sierra Leone and it was tough. Although, role playing seemed like one of the only things that I could comfortably do, without being bullied by Big T. This man terrified me, he would restrict all the internet from our slum/house. One day, I got the chance. My dearest parents got a job in South Ockendon, and I was thrilled. No doubt that all 300 of my cats accompanied me by my side. For the first time in 6x10^99 years, I was happy

 

When I was 6, I had already cracked the Cicada 3301 as well as creating a new language that only gods could dream of learning, EasyGUI. Now I am no genius, but I am a genius. Inputting variables and role playing amongst them on my shitty little Commodore kept me going. Basically right, my mate loved RP, he actually coded it. 20 minutes it took him, didn't even use a mouse. Great lad. Anyways, where was I? My dicks big. So I after getting my Hour of Code Degree at 7 years old, I was set for life. Nothing could stop me! I was invincible! Yet, I sensed a disturbance in the force. Such a disturbance in which I had not felt for many millennia. After taking a break from some Gmod Star Wars RP, I flew outside on my "Python Hoverboard 60-40" and then I saw it. No VBA Spreadsheet could save me from it. I called Warran, but there was not hope. Big T, T-Dog.... Tareque. He had returned. What would I do? My internet was safe, but for how long. At that moment, I Alt+S and fucked right off to Hornchurch. He would never expect me there, I took Sensei with me just in case. 

 

I got a job in some shithole of a school and proceeded to be bullied by a bunch of fags who loved calling me Jason. Little do they know, I've drugged half of them with my EasyGUI physical virus. After I was IP banned from some shit FiveM website, I used my VPN and made a new account and started using it because I'm a fucking genius with a big dick. Nonetheless, there was an imbalance within the force... He was still around, but this time, much like Obi-Wan said "I have the high ground". A new advantage assists me by my side. As to the fact that I have been working in this shithole for like 20 fucking years, I'm fucking depressed and have put on like 30 stone (Don't worry, I coded myself so I'm immune to diabetes, it'll be fine). Due to this change in visible appearance, he would not recognise me from my previous 8f 5i stature. I was experimenting with this cool RP, its called HardGUI RP, trust me guys, it's gonna be a banger. However, until that time comes, I have other matters on my hands. I had reports from Warran that a new technician was around, I knew exactly what was happening. I got one glimpse of him... fuck.

 

Now what? Should I run/waddle away? Who knows.. I walked past, just for a test. Nothing. Did it really work? Smash it! Amazing! Now, I can work without the constant fear of being converted into binary with Big-T's vast knowledge of denary to hexadecimal conversion methods. For now, I am safe. Well, as safe as I well ever be. Remember that anti-diabetes program I coded? Ugh... Well. Yeah. Don't worry lads, my mate coded the cure to it! He's doing some tests though, so I'll be away for a bit. His name is Hepworth. I'll give him some time and then I'll be back on my adventure to do some RP but in the midst, I will wait for my friend. Come on Hepworth! Smash it!

 

Thank you for listening to my story. Gotta go, doing my daily run in the park and saw these two kids fucking on the bench for like 2 hours. Strange world.

 

-J

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